song # 18 of my way-behind song-a-day project
These Foolish Things (tune: These Foolish Things)
parodied from a transcription of the Ella Fitzgerald recording

A one-way ticket to Upper Silesia
Some customs agents here who want to seize ya
The way a monkey swings
These foolish things remind me of you.

Loud gunshots ringing in the neighbor's basement
Or how much better I could have this day spent
My right arm in a sling
These foolish things remind me of you.

You wore that cheap gorilla suit
You scratched and asked for cheese.
I knew somehow that you had fleas

The winds that blow the shingles off my cottage
Touching a wire of enormous wattage
Those packing peanuts that cling
These foolish things remind me of you

Those fresh spring flowers that make me allergic
The way a judge smirks at a guilty verdict
How Jerry Lewis sings
These foolish things remind me of you

The stroke of midnight when I smell that pumpkin
The shallow river that the lemmings jump in
A broken mattress spring
These foolish things remind me of you

I think of when I first found you,
Of how much it has cost,
Oh, how I wish that you'd stayed lost.

Waking up to the gentle bites of vipers
A parking ticket on my windshield wipers
The crimes of evil kings
These foolish things remind me of you

A favorite TV show, now only reruns
Attacked by 47 hungry sea lions
A neck I want to wring,
These foolish things remind me of you

The smell of gases rising from the sewer
Those paddles shocking me, still turning bluer
Those broken guitar strings
These foolish things remind me of you

I think how long I've known you,
And it's been way too long,
Oh, how I wish that you were gone.

The scent of burning trash that gives me headaches
Waiting at home all day for (censored) FedEx
The itch that turns to a sting
These foolish things remind me of you.